[Special thanks to Base for the Art Department :)]
Peter Kent reports:
The Dean requested my presence this morning and told me:
“Some of the girls of the college want to put together a soccer team. They have already bought the boots and socks but needed to apply to the college fund for money for the rest of the soccer kits. Unfortunately, the fund for the year has already been allocated and is none to spare. As the girls couldn’t afford the rests of the kits themselves, rather than abandon the girl’s soccer team idea, they have decided to find an alternative. After a few discussions, one of the girls who also studied art said she was aware that the Art Department had accidently ordered the wrong type of paint in bulk. Terrible situation actually. Instead of acrylic paint, body paint had been ordered and I could not send it back. The lecturers and I were struggling to find a use for it. Anyway, with the revelation of the superfluous paint, the girls practically begged me for use of it. Well, the girls are at the pitch right now testing it out and in case it’s a success, I thought someone from the paper should cover this as the team will need all the support they can get.”
I thanked the Dean for the heads up a dashed off to the pitch. I reached the changing rooms but they were already empty. I stepped out on to the soccer pitch and was greeted by a colourful array of smiling excited girls all ready for their first soccer training session.
Only then did I realise the full scope of the situation: with only the body paint on, the girls would be completely naked. I asked them about this and they all told me that the body paint was the perfect solution to theirs and the Art Department’s situation. Even though they were naked, they wouldn’t feel naked and would be able to attend away matches at other colleges without feeling self-conscious. They wouldn’t have to worry about the dress code either since they weren’t actually wearing anything that was in violation. Even so, some of the girls had concerns that because they were completely naked, they might attract unwanted attention, especially from any boys that may gather but they all managed to agree that with the paint on, the boys wouldn’t notice any of their intimate areas as the girls looked like they were properly dressed. I commented on how good their different kits looked and they said their friends studying art applied the paint for them and all they had to do now was decide what colour scheme they would settle on. The coach stepped out and was eager to get started.
As with any sporting activity, the first thing the girls did were a few warm up exercises. I went round to a few of them as they did so to get their views on their prospective kits.
Sally said, as she limbered up here, that she loved the design of what she had on but didn’t think the colour would be right for the team as it was a bit dreary and she would prefer something more inspiring.
Ashley loved the yellow and green that she had. It was a copy of the Australian world cup team and she was pleased the yellow matched her blond hair. Between telling me her views, she decided to use one of the mini goals to help her stretch.
I was very impressed with the fine work that had gone into the applications of the body paint and as Elise crouched here, she pointed out to me the amazing detail of a string tie that had been added to her shorts and wanted to make sure I got a picture of it.
Danni, in the replica England kit, was happy with her choice of colours stating that it had the right colour tone without being too loud. She got creative with her warm up and started using the soccer ball she had to help her stretch.
Some of the other girls thought this was a marvellous idea and joined in with her, using their soccer balls to warm up with.
Beth, who had an all white kit similar to Marissa’s, told me that she thought it may have been a bit bland. She was especially creative with her warm up exercise and demonstrated great fitness.
After the girls were fully warmed up, the coach asked them to show off their ball control skills. Beth didn’t waste any time showing me again what a top sportswoman she is.
Not to be out done, Sally impressed with a piece of skill where she lifted the ball up with her feet and made it land on her stomach without it falling off.
Lisa told me that the deep colour blue of her kit really complemented her skin tone. She was also keen to show off her skills and asked me to throw the ball at her while she was on all fours. As it bounced off the ground, she amazed me by catching it between her boots.
The coach had now had enough of all the show boating. He decided to get a match going and divided the girls into two teams. Even though they were all good friends, the match was quite competitive with several good goals being scored at each end of the pitch. Amanda was in goal for part of the match and made a few impressive saves. Here is her best one:
Ashley was also in goal for a while and did very well saving two shots. The first is when the ball rolled towards the goal post; she managed to leap right on top of it before it went in.
The second amazing save she did was when she managed to trap the ball between the goal post and her boot before it entered the goal.
Sophia here was ever so lucky to get to this shot before it crossed the line.
By the end of the match, quite a lot of boys had gathered around to watch and despite what they had said earlier, some of the girls had started to feel a little self-conscious about being completely naked after all. They wanted a totally objective opinion and asked me if I could look very closely at them and see if their vaginas or butt holes were visible.
The only thing I could do was tell them the absolute truth, that their vaginas remained disguised by the body paint and that any parts of their vaginas or butt holes that weren’t fully covered by the paint just looked like an artistic design detail on the shorts. The girls were very happy that they were not exposing themselves and that their intimate areas remained hidden and continued in full confidence. The girls chilled out sitting comfortably on the pitch confident that none of the on looking boys could see anything.
With the first soccer team practice session being a success, I got the girls’ final opinions:
PK: “So, these soccer kits, yea or nay?”
Girls soccer team [all in unison]: “YEA!”
PK: “Fantastic! Now all you have to do is decide which colour scheme you’re all going to stick with but something has just occurred to me. What happens when you have to play in the rain?”
All the girls looked at one another in puzzlement slowly realising the implications of my question.
Images from Adult-Empire.com (http://sites.adult-empire.com/7404/)