[Peter Kent reports]
Back in December, the college hosted its annual event, one of the highlights of the year – the end of term fancy dress party. As we have seen over the years, it has become a staple of the college, an occasion that all of the students look forward to. For the preceding months, many of girls had spent a lot of time and effort putting together their costumes with dedication and care. Historically, because of the amount of needle craft and stitch work required, the male students rarely showed much interest in participating and therefore the competition aspect of the fancy dress party became a female exclusive event. The competition is to announce the best costume. The rules to be entered into the final were that the costume created had to be made (not bought) and had to be a faithful representation of the character portrayed and be historically accurate if the contender was depicting a figure from history. For the last event in December, there was a slight difference in regards to the dress code rules. Previously the Dean allowed a small relaxation of the rules so that the participants could create costumes that more accurately depicted who they were portraying without having to worry about clashing with the dress code. However, this saw an increasing number of violations which became more extreme with each subsequent year. This time, the Dean insisted on a zero tolerance policy. All costumes had to strictly adhere to the dress code.
As was usual, prior to the actual party three judges traversed the campus visiting all the girls who wanted to be entered into the competition final. Their job was to assess the validity of the candidates, making sure all was in order. I spent some time with the judges as they made their rounds and here are some of the highlights…
We arrived at Monika first. She greeted us in an unusual but entertaining manner.
“ROARRRRRRR!” she growled, showing her teeth and shaping her hands as if they were claws.
“Ahh, by the noise and the strips, I take it that you’re dressed as a tiger?” the second judge asked.
“That’s right!” Monika proudly said, placing her arms by her chest.
“But,” the first judge began, “tigers have black strips. Yours are gold. That’s not very authentic and also, you’re completely naked. That’s not very decent.”
Monika was slightly cross that he was picking holes in the costume she thought was perfect.
“First of all,” she retorted, “I am completely naked because tigers are completely naked. You don’t see tigers prowling around in jeans and t-shirt do you? I know they have fur but in the animal kingdom, that is considered naked so in that regard, I am being very authentic. Secondly, I was going to use black paint for the stripes but…,” Monika changed her pose to a more elegant and striking one and her voice also changed from slight annoyance to a more deep and seductive tone, “…gold looks so much better on me, don’t you think?”
None of the judges said anything. They just seemed to be lost in her gaze. The third judge finally snapped out of it, “Ahem. Well. Yes. I think we all agree the gold colour does suit you somewhat.”
The other judges broke out of their trances too, “Yes, yes indeed. And she’s quite right about her nudity.”
They all agreed on that point and added her to the list of finalists.
“Thank you so much!” Monika said, again in a very low seductive voice with an equally seductive pose.
The judges, not wanting to be entranced again rushed out of the room and onto the next candidate.
We entered the room where Bryci was to find her standing elegantly by the fireplace.
“Hello Bryci,” the third Judge greeted.
“That is not how you address your queen!” Bryci said with a mischievous smile.
“Err… oh…sorry. I…”
“I am Queen Cleopatra and you may kiss my hand.” She extended her hand towards them and playing along, all three judges kissed the back of it.
“Now, what is it you desire from me? It is not every day one is granted an audience with the queen.”
“We’ve come to see your costume,” the second judge stated.
“Costume? Costume?! This is not a costume! These are the finest royal garments in all the land! Does this look like just a simple costume to you?!” she said, raising her arms behind her head trying to show off more of her outfit.
She continued, “I could have you executed for insulting your queen!”
“Oh no! We wouldn’t want that, your highness. But please tell us, what kind of garment is that? One you usually wear for royal affairs? It’s a little sparse.” the second judge asked.
“Of course not! I was preparing for a bath when you arrived. That’s why I’m half undressed. Do you think I take a bath fully clothed? How preposterous!”
Bryci removed the piece that was around her waist and continued, “When I bathe, I only wear my neckpiece, shoes and cape.” She got on the floor pretending she was in the bath.
The judges conferred, “Shoe’s and cape in the bath that doesn’t really make sense! I don’t think the real Cleopatra did that.”
But Bryci overheard them, “I am the real Cleopatra and as queen I can do anything I like including wearing my shoes and cape in the bath!”
With the questionable historical accuracy the judges decided not to enter Bryci into the final. The judges left with her bellowing for their heads to be removed.
Clover was a strange candidate to review. Like Monika, she also greeted us with a noise.
“Woof! Woof!” She was up on some furniture waving her bottom in the air.
“But she is also completely naked as well!” the first judge complained.
“Woof” Woof! Woof” Clover answered, wagging her bum again making the butt plug tail swing.
The third judge reminded everyone, “Well she probably has the same defence as Monika from earlier. Remember? In the wild, all animals are naked.”
Clover sprang up, gesturing like an excited dog with her arms bunched in front of her against her chest, wrists bent down, barking cheerfully nodding her head, “Woof! Woof! Woof!”
The third judge was quite enthralled with her dog act but the first one still wasn’t satisfied.
“Her tail looks more like a horses’ than a dogs’,” he said grumpily.”
Clover pulled a sad face and started to whine as a dog would, “Hwwwnnn! Hwwwnnn Hwwwnnn!”
The third judge began to feel sorry for her.
“Now look what you’ve done!” he said to the first judge. Holding out his hand, he beckoned Clover to come over. She was back on all fours and scrambling to him, he patted and stroked her head a few times. So entertained by her dog act he had almost forgotten she wasn’t a real dog!
The second judge gave his thought on the matter, “Maybe you need to see the tail more closely. It could be either to me but I’ve forgotten to bring my glasses so can’t see clearly from here.”
As she was still on all fours, the judges got down to examine her tail but she suddenly stood up and bent over, wagging her butt in the judges faces with more excited barking, “Woof! Woof! Woof! Hhherrrr woof!”
“Well…,” the second judge said. “I supposed some exotic breeds of dog have tails like that.”
The first judge still wasn’t convinced but with the third judge agreeing, it was two against one so Clover was admitted into the final.
With the good news Clover got back on her hands and knees and ran in circles around us then jumped up onto the furniture and struck an odd pose. She started panting then looked at us with playful eyes.
The other two judges were puzzled but the third understood.
“Ohh! I think she wants her tummy tickled!” he said ecstatically, walking over to her. Clover had really brought out the kid in him but the first judge spoiled his nostalgic memories of owning a dog in his youth with, “We have no time for that! There are many more candidates to see!”
Even though he was right, the third judge still felt like he’d just been admonished by his parents. “Ok! Ok!” he retorted and we left to see Leyla.
Meeting Leyla, it was good to see her proudly standing in her costume.
There was silence from the judges. They all had mystified expressions as none of them knew who she was supposed to be.
Leyla tried to give them a clue. With a twirl and a cheeky wink, she announced in a chirpy cockney accent, “Cheers love! The cavalry’s here!”
Still perplexed, the judges looked at me.
“She’s a character from a popular video game,” I explained, “Tracer.”
“That certainly explains why this one,” the third judge said referring to the first, “doesn’t know which character Leyla is… the old fogey!” He was still upset at having his fun spoilt before.”
“Well you didn’t know who she was either!” He replied.
The second judge had an idea, “Well since video games are not our forte, we should refer judgment for this to Peter.”
All three of them looked at me for approval.
“How authentic is she?” they asked.
Looking Leyla over, I asked her to turn around so we could see the back of her outfit. I wanted to see how much detail she had added.
“Well she’s certainly put a lot of work into her costume,” I said. The judges were pleased to hear that.
The first judge said, “I like the fact she is conforming to the code but remaining decent by not being completely naked.”
Leyla added, “Yes, I was going to wear a pair of skin tight leggings to match the character but thought I could easily be accused of wearing a thong underneath so I decided that if I went bottomless but put oil on my legs, it would still look like I had leggings on but would be clear to see that I’m not breaking the dress code.”
“That’s good thinking,” I commented.
The seconded judge was a little confused though.
“Wait. I thought you were wearing leggings,” he said.
“Oh. No I’m not. See?” Leyla sat on the floor and spread her legs so we could all see clearly that she was indeed bottomless.
“I really shouldn’t have left my glasses behind!” the second judge said, chastising himself.
Satisfied that I could vouch for the authenticity of Leyla’s costume, the judges entered her into the final.
We met Catie sitting on a chair by the smaller campus pool.
“I’m Raggedy Ann!” she announced cheerfully.
“Of course! The children’s book character!” the second Judge said.
“That’s right!” said Ann.
The judges looked over her costume and the first judge had a point to make.
“That dress is quite long and you’re wearing panties? You won’t be able to be accepted if you are breaking the dress code,” he said.
“Oh that’s ok,” Ann replied, “because my panties are see-through. See?”
She stood up and turned around lifting the back of her dress.
“That’s still not immediately clear,” the third judge said.
“No? I was sure this would be ok. I mean, normally I wouldn’t layer clothes but I thought the panties would be a great addition to the costume. Please, take another look.”
Catie sat back down and facing the judges, opened her legs so they could see how transparent her panties were.
They still weren’t convinced.
“Layering is layering unfortunately,” the second judge said. “It doesn’t really matter how see-through the panties are. With the dress that long and with you wearing panties, you would be in violation of the code. And besides, the top part of your dress is not tight fitting enough to prove that you are not layering on top too.”
Catie was a bit disheartened but still trying to be cheerful she said, “How about if I pull down the top part a bit, like this:”
“The third judge answered her, “Well that would be suitable but the panties would still be a problem. All you have to do is take them…”
Before he could finish Catie interrupted, “Look! Look! “What about if you have a real close look…” Standing up and moving very close to the judges, she lifted her dress, motioning them to bend down to see, “…my panties really are very see-through!”
The third judge continued, “Yes they are but they are still panties so will not do but simply take them…”
Catie interrupted again, “OK, look! I’ve got a different costume I made. I’ll put it on and find you later!” She dashed off before he could finish what he was trying to tell her.
Lucy was a new student to the college and she asked us to meet her on the college grounds by one of the overgrown forest like areas. We were wondering where she was when she suddenly surprised us by jumping out from behind the bushes.
“Gotta catch them all!” she said gleefully.
“Oh yes! Catching one of those things… er… Pokémon, I gather?” the second judge said.
“Yes! I’ve been on the lookout all day. I’m Pokémon trainer Misty!”
Even though the judges weren’t too familiar with video games, they were still aware of the Pokémon craze sweeping the nation.
The first judge was his usual staid self and completely ignoring her charm and role-play, spotted an issue with her outfit, “You are still asked to conform to the dress code and we have no idea if you are breaking it under all that clothing.” He was actually referring to her shorts but she got the wrong idea.
“Oh. Well, I guess I could wear my top like this so you could see that I’m not layering clothes and do not have a bra underneath.”
“That’s all very well. I didn’t have much issue with your top as it was quite tight. However, it is much clearer to see now that you are not wearing a bra,” the first judge said, “But I meant your bottoms. You could be wearing panties or a thong under your shorts which would cause a problem with dress code inspectors.”
“Ok. How about this then? I can leave them unbuttoned that way everyone can see my orange pubes and know that I’m not layering with any underwear,” she said with a smile.
“Hmmm… I take it that since you’re new here, you haven’t been able to commit the full dress code to memory?” he asked.
Lucy looked down at the floor sheepishly and replied, “Well… not quite. I’m trying to remember it all but finding it a bit tricky to get used to.”
The third judge took pity on her and jumped in with a nicer approach before the first one could say anything that would come over a bit too harsh, “What he’s getting at is that pubic hair can also be considered a layer of clothing so in fact if you were stopped by an inspector, you would still be found in violation of the code.”
“Gosh! I didn’t remember that! But if I take the shorts off, do I still look like Misty?” she asked, pulling them down.
“With the bright hair and yellow top we’re sure no one will have trouble spotting you as Misty even if you’re bottomless,” he said reassuringly.
Happy once again, we left Lucy with the news that she was in the final.
Kelly and Eva
We arrived at Kelly and Eva’s dorm room and after knocking, heard all sorts of fumbling commotion from the other side of the door.
“Just a minute…,” one of them said.
There was more fumbling, and the sound of the girls running about.
One of them then announced in a very dramatic voice, “You may enter!”
The judges and I were met with a pair of imposing Stormtroopers.
“Ahhhh,” the third judge said, “Star Wars!”
“Where are the rest of your Stormtrooper suits?” the first judge asked.
Kelly explained, “We were planning to 3D print our entire Stormtrooper outfits. But we seriously underestimated how much that would cost. After we printed the helmet and glove bits, we ran out of money.
The first judge was about to break the bad news to them that they could not contest if they didn’t have at least some semblance of the rest of their outfits but then Eve pre empted him, “To make up for it, we came up with a dance. 3, 2, 1, Go!”
Both girls broke out into some kind of dance routine. Both were flailing their arms about, gyrating their bodies and jerking seemingly at random. With just their helmets on and no music playing, they both looked quite odd. They weren’t even in sync with each other. Thankfully their crazy routine ended after a few moments with them standing together, almost hugging each other.
The first judge started to tell them again, “Well, we’re afraid we cannot put you through without more of your outfits.”
Both girls turned their heads and looked at us ominously.
One of the girls slowly raised her hand, aiming it at the judge who had just spoken. He was befuddled by this action but the third judge caught what was going on.
“Luckily for us, Stormtroopers do not have Jedi mind powers,” he said to the rest of the group.
“Drat!” the girls said exclaimed.
We moved on to another contender.
Juliet was probably the loudest girl we visited. Meeting her, the judges took interest in the prop she had made too.
“And who are you meant to be?”
“Juliet!” Juliet replied
“Yes we know you’re Juliet but who are you dressed as?” the first judge asked.
“Juliet!” Juliet repeated. “I’m Juliet but I’m also Juliet Styles from the video game Lollypop Chainsaw!”
“Oh, that explains the chainsaw,” he said.
“Yes!” Juliet then proceeded to make very loud chainsaw noises while waiving the prop about, “ARGHHHHHHHH! BUZZZZZZZZZ ! WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
She suddenly stopped. Looking very intently at the judges she said, “I fight zombies! Lots of zombies! Have you seen any zombies?”
The judges didn’t know what to answer, but Juliet didn’t wait for one. She had a sudden exclamation of, “There’s one behind me!” then spun around waiving the chainsaw in the air making more noises, “BUZZZZZZZZ! WHIZZZZZZZZ! GRRRRRRRRRR!”
“That’s quite an imagination she has,” the second judge said. He then asked Juliet, “How long did your chainsaw and costume take to make? And isn’t there a skirt that goes with that?”
“There was a skirt… but zombies ate it! They were trying to eat me but I just managed to escape! Wait…! Did you hear something…?!”
The judges looked at each other straining their ears.
“They’re coming through the floor!” Juliet yelled. She slammed her prop to the ground imitating the chainsaw noises once again. “WHEEEEEEEEL! WHEEEEEEEEL! SAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”
Enjoying her show and appreciating the extra effort that went into her prop, the judges accepted Juliet into the final.
As we were on our way to visit the last candidate, from out of nowhere Catie from earlier jumped out from behind a wall nearly giving us the fright of our lives.
“Here I am! Ready to help Batman in his quest to rid Gotham city of the Joker!”
“Good grief!” the third judge exclaimed. “The joker doesn’t stand a chance with you around. You’ll scare him to death!”
Looking at her costume, the judges had taken note that she had remembered one of the issues of the Raggedy Ann outfit and had lowered her top to show she wasn’t layering clothes but they spotted a little flash of yellow between her legs and questioned her about it.
“Yes!” she said, “This costume still has panties but I thought that if I rolled them to one side, it would be ok.”
Catie attempted to lift up a leg to perform a kick but the way she had pulled down her top restricted her movements so she took her arms out of her top altogether then performed the kick.
“Yes, we can see that they’re rolled over but you’re technically still wearing them. But all you have to do is take them…”
“Ohhh! I just can’t get this right!” Catie said interrupting. She was exasperated but then a smile flashed across her face like she’d had an idea. “I know!” she said and started taking off her Robin costume.”
The third judge tried to tell her again, “There really is no need for all this. If you just remove your pan…”
“Hold on! Nearly there!” Catie interrupted again while still undressing.
“There! Now I don’t think they’ll be any problems with this!” she said proudly.
“Well. I’m not sure we can still tell that you’re Robin now,” the second judge said.
“Owww! But I still have the gloves and cape on! See?” she said turning around.
“Please can I be in the final?” she begged.
The judges consulted amongst themselves and decided that with all the effort Catie had put into making two costumes, they should admit her to the finals.
When the judges saw Alannah they were pleased to be able to recognise who she was straight away but were curious as to her situation.
“What are you doing up there?” the first judge asked.
Alannah, fully in character replied, “On the lookout for evil doers or civilians in distress! I can see the whole campus from up here. If anything happens, Wonder Woman will be first on the scene!”
The second judge laughed at her great role-playing and added, “It’s also good to see that you’re able to stick to the dress code with your costume.” He was referring to the fact that she wasn’t wearing any panties.
“Yes,” Alannah said shifting position. “What kind of super hero would I be if I prided myself on dispensing justice yet broke other rules?”
The judges all nodded at her good point.
“Well I think it’s all safe for now,” Alannah said, surveying the campus one last time. She then started to clamber down the tree.
Back on the ground the judges congratulated her on her splendid outfit and were just about to inform her of their decision to include her in the final when she suddenly shrieked.
“Oh no!” she said, dashing off towards the nearby pond. One of the fish had managed to leap out and was thrashing about on the side. She gently scooped it up and put it back in the water.
Applauding her rescue, the judges all welcomed her to the final.
And so here are the finalists:
Monika (as a tiger)
Clover (as a dog)
Leyla (as Tracer from Overwatch)
Lucy (as Pokémon Trainer Misty)
Juliet (as Juliet Styles from Lollypop Chainsaw)
Catie (as Robin)
Alannah (as Wonder Woman)
All that is left now is for you to decide who should be awarded the best fancy dress costume accolade.