Monthly Archives: December 2011

A top or not. A dress or not.

How can I be topless when I am wearing a top?

My professor had no answer to that other than to repeat that the building was clearly marked as being “No Topless” and she considered me in violation. After class I lined up a few witnesses. I knew I’d be summoned to the Dean’s office. This was not a matter for the Dress Code court. My professor was raising the charges.

I made certain to wear exactly what I wore to class. My witnesses testified as much, and excused. My professor thought I just submitted the evidence for her charges. The Dean seemed to be leaning that way, so I had my final arguments to make.

How can I be topless wearing a top. By every rule in the Dress Code this is a top, right? Of course it is. It just happens to be a top that is not closed. I tried to demonstrate closing the top, but no good. My boobs just strain the buttonholes until they give up.

The Dean accepted I might be wearing a top, although the intent of a top was to cover my breasts. I countered that whether the intent was to do that or not, it did not matter. What mattered was I was wearing a top even if it failed to serve its purpose.

The Dean then focused on me going bottomless. I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as a dress too short for him, not me. He argued that a dress was longer. I argued a dress is a dress regardless of size. If a 6 foot amazon wore a dress of a 4’9″ girl, it would appear short, too. Does who wearing an item of clothing make it something different than it is. If it is a dress for the shorter girl, it could be a dress for the taller.

The Dean thought he had me. If that were the case, then whatever is a dress on the shortest girl on campus would be a dress for the tallest. Half the girls on campus would suddenly find their tops classified as dresses.

I told him that was not the case. The Dress Code may classify something as a dress but that does not make it a dress. Only that we call it such. I was happy with wearing a dress the Code calls a top. But it is a dress to me.

The Dean tried one last tactic, asking how a top wide open and leaving me totally exposed could be considered modest. I had a simple answer to him. I’ve learned there is no shame being stripped for an inspection. Whatever we might have once thought of a public stripping as losing one’s modesty was gone. We can remain modest through the stripping. Exposure of one’s body was not being immodest, but rather something that happens.

I do not like to be stripped as that causes more attention to be focused on the stripped girl. It was far more modest to wear an outfit like this to avoid inspection, and thus retain some modesty.

The Dean decided in my favor. My professor was a bit upset, but she accepted the judgment. Then the Dean asked if I would give him my dress so that he could explain this to other professors. I was shocked! You want me to get naked? I still have to walk back to the dorms! Everyone will think I violated the Dress Code. No one will believe me that I was right.

The Dean apologized to me. He had not considered that point of view.

Imagine the embarrassment of being stripped naked, like this:

photos from Playboy.com