From the College Archives: The 1991 Condom Memos

You can find many different files from the College Archives (available in the second basement of the university library). Many of them are past student and teacher records, photographs of dress code inspections, discontinued classes, but there are also records that have shaped the Code of Conduct we know and love today. And that’s what we’re looking at today. Ever wonder why none of the boys wear condoms, and are asked to ejaculate deep inside girls during consensual rape? Turns out that was settled in a series of complaints to the Dean at the time to fix a problem with Code of Conduct enforcement.

Don’t believe me? Here we have republished these important yet scarcely-known memos:


From the Office of the Dean,

It has come to my attention that there are a number of complaints about how some boys are taking advantage of unclear situations arising from our Code of Conduct.

Of course, we have our rules surrounding consensual rape to enforce the Dress Code. If girls wore indecent clothing, then their only risk would be inspectors, who cannot be everywhere. But by allowing everyone on campus to grope the unclothed body parts of female students, we ensure that they understand the importance of decency. However, because aroused students are a distraction to education, we understand that girls who can be shown to be aroused are “asking for it” and can be gently raped consensually by any nearby male students.

The girls who raised these complaints agree that groping and rape on campus are important, but say that there is a scheme that boys use to do far more than is appropriate. They allege that it works like this:

A girl is, for whatever reason, bottomless. A dutiful male student gropes her, and she spreads her legs in compliance. He does a good job thoroughly feeling her body, and unfortunately she becomes aroused from the experience. He slips on a condom, and then consensually rapes her there in public. Eventually he finishes, removes his condom, and disposes of it in a trash can. However, his friends are nearby, and pretend they did not see the rape. They began groping the girl, obviously finding that she is aroused. They do the same, consensually raping her with a condom, then finishing.

The issue is clearly that, after a girl is raped with a condom, there is no evidence that she was raped at all. If they did not witness it themselves, it is not possible for inspectors to determine if a girl has actually been raped or her pussy is merely flushed and aroused.

Following some discussion, the school board has decided to ban condoms in all instances of consensual rape. Condoms may still be used privately as part of consensual sex, but should not be used when outdoors or during rape. Any boy found raping a girl with a condom will be required to remove it and re-penetrate her.

This changes rules around consensual rape. If a girl has cum dripping from her vagina or anus, she is known to have already been raped and cannot be raped until it drips all the way out or she cleans it off. Boys are strongly encouraged to ejaculate deep inside a girl when having sex with her, to ensure the cum is visible for as long as possible. If a boy chooses to pull out he should finish onto the girl’s lower body, so there is proof of rape. The Dress Code has been amended to explicitly exclude semen as a kind of clothing, and does not count for normal layering rules.

[Signature dated November 8, 1991]


From the Office of the Dean,

In light of our recent condom memo, it seems there has been some issues with rule enforcement. I have heard reports of boys poking holes in their condoms, saying this makes them in compliance with the rules. Other times, the boy says that the sex is consensual, while the girl protests she is being raped, and therefore the condom may not be used. This leads to a large number of fights that our inspector team has had to resolve.

As a result, I have spoken with the school board. We have agreed to make the rules simpler by banning all condoms on campus. Whether you are engaged in consensual sex or rape, none of the partners may be wearing a condom. All condoms will be confiscated on sight. The only exception will be specially approved health classes organized by the university, otherwise any boy found with condoms on his person will receive a reprimand, and any girl found with condoms will be stripped nude for the day.

The reason is clear: condoms prevent creampies. We depend on the presence of cum to determine if a girl has been raped yet or not, and any use of condoms inevitably leads to arguing and attempts to skirt the rules. This is unacceptable.

Our surveys show that most female students are already taking universal contraceptives, a fantastic medicine invented by our own Professor L. Harrison. Because these are very convenient to take, and have proven robust in preventing pregnancy, college medical staff have changed the rules to require all students, male and female, be taking universal contraceptives continually while enrolled at school. Any student or member of the public can have it administered for free at any health office on campus.

Additionally, the Spirit Committee filed an appeal following the first memo. Because Spirit Days have special rules surrounding groping and proper dress, we have decided that cum is not considered protection from repeat consensual rape. However, condoms remain banned on campus.

Thank you all for your compliance.

[Signature dated November 25, 1991]


From the Office of the Dean,

After setting up several study groups, we have determined that condom use across campus has fallen to nearly 1%, and that 97% of girls and 85% of boys are taking contraceptives. The school board is pleased by the progress, and with your help we can get those numbers the rest of the way.

I have instructed our hard-working inspectors to make an extra effort to find and root out such contraband. Expect that strip searching will become extra common for the rest of the year.

As we close out this year, let us work together to make 1992 entirely condom-free!

[Signature dated December 18, 1991]


The universal contraceptives he mentioned soon became very common across the United States. They are considered superior to traditional hormonal birth control pills due to lack of side effects, and they work well on men as well. In 1993 when another scientific breakthrough caused the medicine to also eliminate STDs, public schools started requiring it alongside other vaccines. Now we are used to a world where condoms are mostly old fashioned, and creampies are a normal part of sex.

If you want to learn more about school history, come visit us in the College Archives!