Global Warming Wednesdays — part two

The brunette, Karen, and her increasingly enthused colleague, Keith, were standing at the front of a packed press conference in an increasingly warm room. Starkers.

For those who don’t take the opportunity to reread the first instalment, Karen and Keith had just laid out a challenge to our campus to join the swelling ranks of the Global Warming Wednesdays movement. Karen had spread out an inspiring tale for how campus could reduce greenhouse gases by turning campus air conditioners off every Wednesday. But that is hard during heat waves on the eastern seaboard. So for this to really take off, we would have to be able to free from the burden of hot, restricting clothing.

Wednesdays are now declared clothing optional; and the incentive for the shy to participate is that if students or staff, male or female, are caught on Wednesdays with clothing, they have to make a donation to the GWW organization of one dollar for every person in the room.

But this campus has a Code of Conduct with strict rules to encourage modesty. How would the Code and Global Warming Wednesdays comingle? Good question.

Last week, the press conference was interrupted when one of the experienced CCC inspectors leapt up to declare that Karen owed $25 right off the top because she was not naked under the Code.

“Well”, said Karen, looking down at her landing strip, “that will have to go. I can live with that and I’m sure you can, too.” She smiled. “Some of you might even be willing to help me lose it. And, yes, of course, I would be happy to donate $25 to the cause.”

“But, if I owe $25, then so would Keith.” Indeed, her colleague sported a bushy blonde patch. Karen smiled as she took a long look down at Keith’s member, which by now was standing fully at attention and turning bright red. Perhaps he was thinking of Karen giving it some personal attention.

The murmuring in the room continued. “The Brazilian rule wouldn’t apply to guys, would it?,” asked one of the younger inspectors. “Where would you start?” More muttering.

Another good question! The Code has never been applied to guys; its purpose is to encourage the female students to dress modestly. Rarely do school dress codes give much attention to what guys wear; in general guys figure they look better with their clothes on, and are good at staying in their pants in public, unless of course there is some important discipline to administer or other activity in the public interest.

“But you’re using the Code for girls to define what it means to be naked,” said Karen, “even though the landing strip would qualify as a bottom and would not itself violate the Code.” “Wouldn’t the Code be used to define what it means to be naked on campus for guys, too?”

More murmuring. The older inspector stood up and walked to the front of the room, beside the table. “It sounds like a gray area. There has been no issue like this arise before, and the Code is silent.” “In cases like this, we operate like any other Code or law. An inspector makes a ruling, and if someone challenges it, it can then go to appeal. The tribunal’s ruling then becomes the precedent we follow.”

“But as an inspector I can say there is one infraction of the Code that is increasingly clear.” He looked down towards Karen’s landing strip, and it didn’t obscure that she was becoming increasingly red. Not in the face.

It is funny what turns women on. For some, the mere fact of standing in front of a packed room would be enough, but Karen, an experienced nudist, initially was as cool as a cucumber. But once she started thinking about putting the Gillette foam on her friend’s member, gradually she was getting more and more interested. Different strokes…

“This requires immediate action.” The inspector started undoing his belt, and walking behind Karen, uttered a determined “Welcome to our little College.” Keith clearly wasn’t alone in his enthusiasm.

“Hold it!” Karen pulled out a little pink slip and waved it in front of the inspector. “I forgot about this.” “When I came first thing in the morning to the President’s office, his secretary said I might need this one-day exemption from the CCC.” “I figured I wouldn’t need it, that no one would stop a girl in the nude to see if she was wearing panties. But I hadn’t counted on this.”

“Okay,” said the inspector, zipping himself back up and returning sheepishly to the back of the room. “I doubt they’d give an exemption again for next Wednesday.” “And if you want this whole Global Warming Wednesday thing to be a success across campus, you should play by the same rules that apply to our own students.”

“Fair enough,” said Karen, relieved. “Anyway, today is just the press conference. If it weren’t, all of you would owe $25, too.”

Keith joined in, better able to speak now that he was clearly losing some of his enthusiasm. “Next Wednesday is actually the first Global Warming Wednesday. We encourage everyone to come prepared for a day of learning without air conditioning. The ten-day forecast says that the heat wave should be continuing.”

Said Karen: “And we will all obey the rules.”

But it was still not crystal clear how all those rules would really fit together.

[To be continued.]

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