[Peter Kent reports]
As you students may know, our college has garnered quite the reputation for high excellence in all areas of academia. We repeatedly appear at the top of college league tables for students passing exams with the highest scores. Our numerous sporting and athletics programmes are extremely well funded. Our science and technology centres are equipped with the latest technologies. In short, every possible subject a student wishes to study at the college is very well catered for. We have become the envy of the many colleges and our reputation of excellence has spread far and wide. All the hard work that has gone into making this college one of the very best has had unintended consequences.
It has come to the faculty’s attention that there have been an increasing number of young people impersonating our students in order to gain illegal access to our college courses and facilities. We have had a few boys attempting this but they are very easy to spot and have been few and far between. The main problem has been with girls. Many female imposters have tried to sneak onto campus pretending to be another student. Some have been very successful. This has lead to rising complaints from lecturers who have found extra students in their classes and security guards who have had to spend more time investigating suspect students. There have also been complaints from dress code inspectors who have been innocently carrying out their duties inspecting girls and then bamboozled by the reaction they receive from such an ordinary situation.
As one inspector detailed for this article:
The inspector saw a girl wearing a dress that came down to her knees. Wanting to make sure she was adhering to the rules of not layering clothes, he approached her like any devoted inspector would. He asked her to raise her dress so he could check she was not wearing anything underneath. The inspector states this girl gave him such a scowling look as if he had asked her to do the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Not understanding this attitude and thinking it may be down to guilt or shame at her breaking the code by possibly having an additional item of clothing underneath her dress, he lifted her dress and found her to be wearing a pair of pink panties. Having found she was dressed highly indecently, he also thought she might be trying to hide that she was aroused. He pulled down her panties and planted his hand firmly between her legs to check for wetness.
Would you believe that this girl raised her hand and slapped the inspector right across his face?! No female student of this college would have exhibited such appallingly disgraceful behaviour and it was indeed found that this girl was an outsider who was ignorant of the full college rules regarding dress code and inspections and had used one of our student’s ID cards to sneak onto campus.
Female imposters are difficult to spot because (just like the example above) a lot of them have somehow managed to get hold of an ID card belonging one of our students. All it takes is a little make up, a change in hair style and in some cases, colour changing contact lenses and the outsider can convincingly pass for one of our students.
As a result of several meetings between the Dean, the rest of the faculty and the security office it has been decided that a new ID card system that is a lot harder to dupe is needed. The faculty did consider some sort of finger print reading technology but decided this would have been a bit cumbersome to implement and we needed a solution that was more mobile and utilised the already present security staff.
The college will be implementing a trial of a new ID card for the female students. You are all familiar with the current ID card that comprises of a few lines of the student’s information and a photo:
In addition to the current photo, a new photo will be taken and added to the ID cards, a photo that will not be so easy to mimic.
Here is Skylar showing what will be on the new card:
As you can see, accompanying the student information, on the left is a portrait of Skylar, on the right, a photo of her vagina. The uniqueness of a girls’ vagina is much more difficult to imitate so makes the perfect security identifier in addition to her portrait.
Here is Elle providing another example:
These ID cards will work similar to how they do now. Here is a short guide for the girls:
A college security guard may stop you randomly asking for your ID which is simply shown to him. After seeing your face you should also present you vagina to the security guard. Kindly spread your legs for the security guard to view your whole vaginal area, allowing him to compare it to the ID card. Try to spread your legs in a similar manner to how your photo was taken although, the further you spread your legs the easier it will be for the guard to see making the ID check quicker.
There is no need to be shy that the male security guard is examining your lady area or feel embarrassed at the close attention the guard may be applying to your vagina. All of you female student would have already been in similar situations and have had your vaginas’ closely examined at by an inspector at some point. The security guards however will not be carrying out inspections, they are not trained in that way and in any case it would not be fair to ask them to carry out two roles. With that in mind, there is no reason for the guards to actually touch your vagina unless the guard needs to position your vaginal lips in a certain way to match the photo so he can be sure you are the same person.
Take this next example of Trillium for instance:
As you can see from her ID card photo, she has large luscious labia that naturally splay open sometimes when she spreads her legs. However when she came to present herself, the guard couldn’t quite tell from looking at her vagina if she was the same person as the photo looked different. He asked to see her at the security office for a more thorough check:
He asked her to remove her skirt and reached between her legs, gently parting her vulva lips, spreading her labia apart so that it looked more like the photo. He was then satisfied she was indeed the same girl.
As you can see in this next ID card photo that belongs to Nicole, her labia are not as long and may not require manipulation from a security guard. Although do not be alarmed if a guard still does choose to manipulate your labia in what would seem to be a clear cut case to you – he is only being thorough.
Notice Alexa’s ID photo. Like Nicole, she does not have long labia but her vagina is still open in the photo. Perhaps due to her legs being spread very wide when it was taken:
A security guard may have trouble recognising Alexa if she presents herself with her vaginal lips closed and like Trillium above, he may have to hold her vulva apart slightly to match the ID photo. The converse is also true; if a girl presents herself with her vaginal lips splayed apart but the photo has her lips together, the security guard may have to gently squeeze her lips together to compare with the photo more accurately.
Cadence was another example where a slight issue arose. As you can see from her ID photo, her vagina was slightly puffy and pink. When she presented herself to the security guard, her vagina had a more pale completion. Faced with a pink vagina in the photo and a pale vaginal in person, the guard was not sure she was who she claimed to be.
In order to try and make her vagina match the photo, he decided to give her vagina an invigorating rub, increasing blood flow to the skin’s surface. This made her vagina more rosy and matched the photo so he was satisfied the ID was hers.
One last piece of advice to the girls: If you have your vagina checked by a guard do not think that there is no need for an inspector to view your vagina later. As mentioned above, the jobs of the security guards and inspectors are very different and you may have your vagina inspected by both for two completely different reasons.
As a reminder for all students while the trial is being carried out, you will see large posters around the college with examples of the new ID photos like these:
If the trial is successful, every female student will carry this new ID photo card.
(Pictures from ATK Galleria)