Okay, one more picture in honor of Muff Day.
On the occasion of Muff Day, several people have quizzed the Dean about some of the finer points of the Dress Code. So we thought it would be good to hear what he has to say:
First, let me stress that “Muff Day”, as it’s called, is not a College Sanctioned Spirit day. It’s something a bunch of freshman girls invented a few years ago, and although it’s all in good fun, it’s something, quite frankly, that I wish would just go away.
People have asked me why girls wearing pubic hair as their bottom always seem to also be topless. I don’t know, why don’t you ask them? Maybe they think wearing a top will just draw attention to their lack of clothing down below. Or maybe they’re worried about an “overlap” violation. Or perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve instructed the Inspectors to not only strip any girl with pubic hair stark naked, but also force her to spread her legs and bend over while fellow students are encouraged to do unspeakable things to her.
You may have heard some stories about girls celebrating Muff Day who were tortured and raped. These stories are exaggerated, to be sure, but they have a grain of truth. You see, the Code of Conduct allows students to fondle girls’ bare skin. This unwanted fondling is allowed simply to encourage girls to show less bare skin. In particular, girls should keep their genitals covered to avoid being fondled in that region. Interestingly, pubic hair isn’t considered clothing for the purpose of this rule. So students are perfectly within their rights to fondle a girl’s genitals if all she’s wearing is her muff. Moreover, a girl isn’t permitted to interfere with her fondler by doing such things as covering herself with her hands, keeping her legs together, failing to bend over when her anus is fondled, and the like. Now, as for the torture, yes, there was torture, but it was of a sexual nature. For fun, a student will fondle a naked girl, watching her closely for signs of sexual excitement, such as secretions, vocalizations, shallow breathing, accelerated heart rate, goosebumps, hard nipples or clitoris, and clenching or pulsing of the anal and vaginal muscles, When she appears close to orgasm, the fondling subsides, but continues just enough to keep the girl at the edge of having an orgasm. A clever fondler can sometimes keep a girl at the edge of cumming for an hour or more, while a crowd gathers to watch her suffer. So is this torture? I suppose so, but it’s completely permitted by the Code of Conduct. Now, a girl in this condition is certainly exhibiting signs of sexual excitement, and as every girl knows, doing this in public is a sign of permission, or “consent” to sexual activity. It’s a kind of trick against the girl, I’ll admit, because her clearly visible sexual excitement is not purely voluntary on her part. Often, a girl subjected to merciless fondling does not consciously desire sexual relations, especially not in public, and with one or more strangers. But rules are rules, and girls who give their consent this way have no one to blame but themselves for any sexual contact that results from the chain of events they started: First, they appeared in public wearing too little clothing, then they were fondled, then they became sexually excited, and then sex was forced on them. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for a girl who later claims the consent she gave was coerced, if the whole chain of events was one she set in motion in the first place. The fact remains that she gave her consent, and if she doesn’t like it, she should avoid that whole chain of events in the future. She should shave, and wear a nice dress, long enough to cover her pussy and her butt crack.
I know what you’re going to say next, so let me stop you right there. The Inspectors do not profile girls, and preferentially inspect the ones wearing nice dresses long enough to cover their pussies and butt cracks. That rumor was started by a bunch of boys who just want to see girls wearing short dresses! It’s simply not true. Of course, a girl is free to wear a top, and no bottom, if she wants to, and many girls leave the top few buttons of their top undone, because of the excitement of possibly accidentally flashing a breast. That’s fun for the girl, and there’s nothing wrong with it. But then, to continue unbuttoning button after button, until her top is completely open, well, that’s too much. Yes, I’ve heard girls say they do this to avoid being Inspected. While I’ve heard the logic, and it seems reasonable — that if their tits, ass, and pussy are all fully in view, then an Inspector won’t waste his time — I reiterate there’s absolutely no profiling in our Inspections.
Thank you, girls and boys of the College, for allowing me to address these important concerns.