Welcome, welcome, welcome! It’s so nice to see all your fresh faces, ready for another year at the College. I’m sure you’ve all read the Dress Code, and are eager to comply, so let me get right into my message, which is directed mostly to the incoming freshmen girls.
Girls, you’ve probably heard the rumors of terribly embarrassing Inspections, in which you will not only be stripped naked, but also forced to perform unspeakable acts. That’s not entirely true. Inspections are necessary, of course, but they’re nothing to be embarrassed over. By year’s end, every one of you will have had the opportunity to prove to your fellow students that you are following the Dress Code, so please don’t dread being Inspected. Instead, take it in stride, and get on with your day. If you see another girl being inspected, take the time to watch the inspection, and admire her for being such a good girl.
OK, I know: keep it short, Dean. The message, that is. Dresses, on the other hand need not be so short you feel uncomfortable.
Some freshmen girls, who are not used to our Dress Code, wonder how to judge the perfect dress length. So here are a few tips.
o Try on your t-shirts as dresses. Yes, it’s true. Most t-shirts are long enough to serve quite well as dresses, and in fact, many are too long, which surprises many young girls.
o Your front and back are shaped differently. This is obvious, I know, but I point it out for an important reason: your main objective in selecting a perfect dress length should be to cover yourself as far as your crotch. But an ideal crotch-length dress may not cover your entire butt. Don’t let that bother you! It is perfectly normal for a dress to cover you completely in front, and only half cover your butt. If your tailbone is covered, you’re fine, trust me.
o Upskirt views: If your dress is a perfect length, then when you sit down, you are completely open to public scrutiny. This is normal, especially if your dress is tight. Look around. All girls face the same issue. Teachers and fellow students see this so often, no one pays any attention.
o The Bare Chair: It is normal to feel bare skin against your seat, whether your dress is tight or loose. Just sit your pretty butt down, and trust that you will get used to the feeling before too long.
I hope that after reading this, you freshmen girls will realize that crotch-length dresses are just fine, and that you will resist the pressure put on you to wear shorter dresses that may be too revealing, and make you feel uncomfortable.
Thanks, and enjoy your year at the College!